Tempted by Ruin by Mia West

Author:Mia West [West, Mia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Mia West

Chapter Twelve

The pup squawked, and Palahmed realized he’d squeezed it.

“My mother’s belly would swell, and she would tell me about the brother I was going to have, but only two of the times she was closed up with the midwife did I have a brother the next day.”

“Mightn’t there have been stillbirths?”

“That’s what the kitchen women said. But they said it low, and clamp-jawed, so I never pushed. After the third time, I wanted to see for myself. So I sat in the corridor while my mother screamed and panted. It sounded like the life was being ripped out of her, and I huddled in a corner, you know? I was so scared I almost left. But then she stopped shouting and there was another sound—a squall. I have another brother, I thought. Before I could even stand up, Lot went into her chamber. Came out again not even ten breaths later, and that coughing squall came with him. He was carrying the babe. I thought he was going to take it to the hall to proclaim himself a father again. But he didn’t walk to the hall. He left the fortress and took the path down to the mussel cove. Then he waded in to his knees and pushed the bundle under the water.”

“Good God.”

“I thought at first he was baptizing it. It wasn’t something we did, but I’d heard people talk about it around the night fire sometimes. Sounded horrible, to tell you a truth. And I was sure he was doing it wrong because he just held the babe under longer and longer. So I called out from the beach. That’s too long, I said. He just turned and looked at me. Told me to go home.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I splashed out to him and grabbed his sleeve. You’ll kill him, I said. Not a son, he said. No get of mine. And I realized he did mean to kill it. So I fought him.”

“How old were you?”

“Ten years. No match for him, even with his other hand occupied.” He looked into the fire. “He held me under, too.”

“Gawain.”

“It hurt. Burned like nothing I’d ever felt. Understand, we all knew the water. I don’t even remember learning to swim, I was so young, but I know he was the one who threw me in. But he hadn’t grabbed my hair and held me under. Not ’til that night.”

Palahmed stared at Gawain’s dark curls and couldn’t imagine touching them with anything but reverence.

“I fought as long as I could. I imagined Agravain saving me, but he didn’t. I imagined my younger brothers being told I’d fallen in and hit my head on a rock. I tried to imagine my mother crying over me, but then I remembered all the times I’d thought to wake up to a brother and there’d been no brother and no tears on her cheeks either. Then I saw myself grown, running a blade through my father, and it scared me worse than anything else. I sucked down water.

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